About Your Mental Health
Social media is once again primed to remind us that THIS is the week to take care of your mental health. They hash-tagged it, so it must be official. If you miss out this week, that’s it, your brain is ruined for another year.
As someone who has struggled with depression, negative mental health, and deep-dark thoughts, I can honestly tell you that no one gives a shit about your problems, nor your depression. You have to fight this fight on your on, and no one will come to help you. The sooner you learn this, the easier it is to get yourself on the road to repair.
The quicker you learn that the only fix to yourself, is to personally fix yourself, the easier it will be to cut through all of the bullshit that people, socials and god forbid-corporations direct at us. The fact that big business shows they ‘care’ about your mental health is a sign that its all about platitudes and making themselves look good, rather than acknowledging that they in fact might actually be the culprit for your depression.
Big Biz Wants you Dead
Corporations don’t care about your mental health. They would rather that you kill yourself, so that they can push you and your families further into debt. That’s the way business works right? Squeeze everything out the customer until there is nothing more left to squeeze.
None of these companies who talks mental health, actually cares. This is nothing more than a marketing ploy to get you to spend more, and ‘feel’ for them. You show me a company that boasts about its ability to calm mental health, and I guarantee I can show you a litany of articles and news that show what a real POS they really are.
Facebook likes to tout itself as a place for good, but it’s the worst place for your mental health and for your safety. Let’s not forget Facebook is not only now the number one cause for divorce, but the platform is due to have dead profiles overtake live ones in our lifetime. Even after you die, Facebook wants to control your narrative. Get off Facebook ASAP and begin your healing journey.
In Canada, Bell media corporation encouraged people to #LetsTalk, which is pretty ripe given that this telecom monopoly gouges it’s customers with some of the highest tariffs in the world, and has no problem firing its TV anchors once they get grey hair. Bell wants to talk, but they’ll still going to charge you premium rates, and the person you’ll be talking to is somewhere in the third world with an adopted Christian name.
Readers might surmise that there is some anger and bitter in this article, well it’s about depression, suicide and feeling like internal hot-garbage 24/7.
You can’t really sugar coat this kind of stuff.
Don’t Get Old
As a man who just hit 50, I am now entering the biggest demographic for suicide, with men 50–54 leading the way in offing themselves. Woo hoo! What an age! A few years ago I was told that 48 was the biggest age for self-death, but I was able to pass that anniversary without incident. Let’s see how the next four years go.
I went through a 14 month spate where a friend had committed suicide every month. Every month another close friend who was struggling, took the tough road out of town. Talk about the worst advent calendar ever.
Most media outlets belie the problems of teen suicide, and those who feel trapped in their bodies, yet those tragedies pale in the numbers compared to that of middle aged men. ‘White men don’t have problems, they just cause them’, has been a fun trope to ride for the past decade. Sadly that’s the biggest demo of people who are killing themselves today. If you get the feeling even the press thinks you’re too old for suicide, you’re starting to get how it works.
I’m still working my way through my darkness, but I have begun to see the light, and happiness is once again filtering into me again. Never thought it would happen when I was sitting listless in the dark a decade ago, but you gotta start fixing you.
In terms of some of the things that I have learned in my struggles with the darkness of mental health, I can assure of the following:
Don’t Tell Anyone
Felling suicidal?
Feeling that the world is crushing against you and you can’t get out?
Don’t tell anyone.
They will use it against you.
Obviously if you have friends in the same situation, then it’s worth talking about socially. Keep it light, but touch base with each other so that you drift away.
Friends in need are friends just like you.
When it comes to doctors, therapists, or any third parties, just DON’T tell them.
Living in the UK I have found that this info gets weaponised against you, and will make your life even worse.
By admitting the potential for self-harm, you will land yourself on a whole new conveyer belt of discrimination, as you are now ‘suicidal’ and that will stick with you, and your reputation for the rest of your life.
Even if you are able to get your head right, that ticked box will stay on your permanent record.
Worst of all don’t share it on social media, which is a vacuous hell-hole of self-importance.
Admitting your struggles to the baying-herd will do nothing more than feed a selfish trail of ‘me-too’s’, ‘OMG I’m way worse’, or a smattering of emojis that could have confused your struggles with their own.
When you eventually die these flies all pile on your rotting status to make it all about them.
Get off Facebook, and social media to get your head right.
The-Rapey
Everyone talks about how wonderful therapy is, but fail to mention some of the big downsides of therapy.
First of all, there are a lot of idiot therapists out there. I’ve sat in on a few sessions where I’ve met some truly obtuse individuals whose capability and qualifications were continually in question. And who wants to spend all that money trying to find the right one?
Second of course, is the costs, as therapy is only really available to the rich. A therapist in the UK will run you anywhere from £70–100/ hour for your basic, community college/ online healer. So you’re looking at almost £400/ month to have someone as young as your niece tell you what a beautiful and inclusive world we live in, and you need to cheer up.
Or for £10/ hr you can get a cleaning person who barely speaks English, and polishes your flat while you break down in trauma, spinning on a blankie in the corner. It’s not only cheaper, but your tears are mopped up as part of the fee. Winner winner.
I’ve actually had some of the most intelligent and thought provoking conversations with AI as of late, and recommend sessions on ChatGPT to help you chat and ask without fear of reprisal or shame. Given that it’s also more intelligent to speak with than 90% of the human population, you might actually learn something too.
Isolate Your Vices
The first step on the road to fruition is to figure out your vices, and get them down to just one. Alcohol is definitely one you want to chuck, as not only does it keep you on a river of sad, it also makes you puffy, emotional and broke.
I quite booze for over two years when I wanted to get right, and it was amazing to suddenly feel again. Of all the drugs I have ever tried, sobriety gives the best buzz. Who knew? Get off the sauce and stay off the sauce, and you’re brain will start to heal itself.
I ditched all of the other accelerants except for the herb, which allowed me to sleep better, and also allowed me to satiate a savage emotional rage with a puff of green. No punchy anger either, that you get with booze.
If you haven’t tried magic mushrooms yet, you should, especially if you’re over 40.
The essential ‘happy drug’ will not only send you on a trip of positivity, it will also stay lingering in your system for a few days to keep that happy going when you crank your head too quickly.
Don’t do it with other drugs though.
Keep it clean, and track your happy.
Get Physical
Clean out your brain, then get ready to train, as working out will make you feel so much better.
You don’t have to be a gym nut, but the benefits of weight-training go beyond mental health, and into staving off nasty things like dementia.
Personal trainers have seen as many mental health breakdowns as ‘professionals’, so don’t be afraid to reach out to one, and see if they can help build a routine for you that targets growth and development.
Push yourself, get strong, get lean, get mean.
You need to be at your meanest if you want to tackle your own weaknesses.
Getting back into training, sparring and conditioning has been one of the biggest strengths for me, and getting my brain happy again. After all, nothing shoots that anger away like getting punched in the face.
At the end of the day, I would prefer if none of you who read this killed yourself.
As my father use to say ‘it’s a coward’s way out’, but then again, he died of dementia which is a truly horrible disease that offers no compassionate release unlike other death sentences.
If you do get early onset dementia, suicide is definitely your best bet.
Believe me.
As a man who has, and continues to struggle daily with the dark thoughts that I keep tucking down to nether regions, I’m also not going to help push the narrative that there is help out there for you, because there isn’t.
You Do You
At the end of the day, I would prefer if none of you who read this killed yourself. As my father use to say ‘it’s a coward’s way out’, but then again, he died of dementia which is a truly horrible disease that offers no compassionate release unlike other death sentences. If you do get early onset dementia, suicide is definitely your best bet. Believe me.
As a man who has, and continues to struggle daily with the dark thoughts that I keep tucking down to nether regions, I’m also not going to help push the narrative that there is help out there for you, because there isn’t.
No one has helped me, and the system isn’t designed to help make you better, just not make you worse. The system wasn’t there for my friends who killed themselves either. Toughen yourself up, or get washed away. Your choice.
Of course there are going be people who read this and tell me how I ‘got it wrong’, or I ‘don’t understand’, to which I would reply ‘Why Not Shut the Fuck Up’?
‘Are you a 50 year old man stuck in this terrible cycle?’
You don’t know what anyone else is going through, and I didn’t ask for your cunted opinion.
I’m busy trying to fix my own depression, and given what my friends have gone through, I know I’m not alone.
Nobody cares, but me. And that’s where you start.